shadow_ronin (shadow_ronin) wrote in divine_sanctum,
shadow_ronin
shadow_ronin
divine_sanctum

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Ha Ha Ha....I'm such a fucker.

So yeah, I woke up today at 10:35, when I had already told Jordan that I would get up at 10. I did wake up at 10. But I hit snooze three times after. But I woke to one of her messages which was nice. But I was still late. Anyway I missed out on talking to her. And then I started quickly getting ready for my Settlement Conference...The settlement? The City of Mt. Pleasant vs. Salvatore Russo.....etc etc...cuz I got piss ass drunk, fucked up with alcohol poisoning. So I spit in some chicks face....tag me for Simple Assault.

Now the choice I made. I plead quilty to simple assault, and they dropped the M.I.P. With recommendation for no jail. So I go speak to a judge on MARCH 8TH!!!...And by then, I will have hopefully solved, or at least substantially gained some control. Which is to my rent and utilities. -shakes his head-...On top of that, the certain and indefinite breaking of the ties with my father. And more likely, my family. But I explained that a bit in the last entry. -grumbles- But what's everyone just keep saying to me? "You bring this all on yourself JJ."...Everyone says this to me. But they just can't see it through my eyes. It's hard for them to understand my reasoning. Which makes it harder for them to get closer to me. Maybe they are right. Maybe I bring this all upon myself. But why do I punish myself more than you huh? Why do I say. I am the only person who can kick my ass? Nobody can beat my ass like I can....If you don't like the way I am, and the way I think and feel, then fine. You don't have to be around me. I used to live my life, just trying to help everyone I could. My Mom and Dad, for their fucked up shit, tried time and time again not to piss Phil off. But it was so god damn easy. So boom, he'd hall off and kick my ass. My neighbor Mrs. Nardoulli...My friends Andrew, Luke, Lindsay....Known them since I was like fuckin 4,5,6 years old. Met a few others along the way. But those three. Anytime...ANYTIME...there was a fight. It was always expected of me and Andrew to fight for them. So he would become my partner in this shit. And rule the fuckin joint. In like the 6th grade. Lindsay and I dated each other..and yeah, it was that little kid bullshit. Holding hands, skating with your hands together during the 'slow' music....Jesus christ I look back at myself and stare half in humor, and half in disbelief. Sometimes I'll snicker...

So I was always expected to do something from everyone. If they would have just backed the fuck up, and let me breath for a fuckin second and lay back, they wouldn't see my short temper. They would push me enough to say "Hey, leave me the fuck alone." And then shit hit the fan. People thought I was this. Thought I was that. Cocky because I was "too good for them"...etc and what the fuck ever...(Being the Manager's Son all my life is simple explanation for some of that.)

Bitching, drama, crying, fighting, loss, and nothing to gain. No respect, not even an adequate fucking thank you.

Me: "Hey bro. Remember that time, we fought Mike and his little brother. I can't remember, what's his name?"

Andrew: "You mean Sean?"

Me: "Yeah!"

Andrew: "Yeah what about him?"

Me: "I just remember that just before that. You socked him so damn hard he fucking dropped and rolled under that car. Then sean was gonna get tough like he was gonna do some shit with his little punk ass. And I stepped in front of him...Makin sure is bitch ass couldn't run up and start tryin to rabbit punch the fuck outta ya. And then the time I fought Mike. I was standing there telling Sean to shut the fuck up. And then Mike's bitch ass sucker punched me, then tackled me to the ground. When I rolled with him I started poundin on his face. Then stood up, and kicked his ass square in the gut. You jumped in and pushed me away from him all. 'He's got Asthma!'...and I was like. WTF? If he's got asthma then he should keep his fucking mouth shut and step the fuck back before he gets pushed the fuck back."

Andrew: "Yeah dude..That was a cool time bro." -goes back to playing streetfighter-

Me: -goes back to playing streetfighter.-

Nothing was said after that. I just shut the fuck up and kicked his ass in streetfighter with Ken and Fei Long.

Then when the parents thing happened I moved and went to a new school.

But anyway...I'll end this with a cool song that Jordan said was a "JJ song"

Away From The Sun - 3 Doors Down.

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone do what I've done
I missed life
I missed the colours of the world
Can anyone go where I am

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again

I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I've known

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun

That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't do what I've done

And now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines the life away from me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments